I was dining with my hubbie and his mom--she was taking us out for dinner to celebrate. Seating is crowded and it was a summer Friday night. The guy at the next table blew his nose loudly into his cloth dinner napkin. He was no more than 7 feet away. The first time he did it, I gave him "the stare." He did it again and I said, "Pardon me," thinking he'd get the hint. He was honking into the dinner napkin like a goose, then studying it.

When he did it again, I said "Excuse me, would please not do that? Use the rest room, we're trying to eat." He stared at me without saying anything. I returned my attention to my meal, much less appetizing at this point. Seated right behind me, his wife stood up--she was almost six feet and I'm just over five feet--and while towering over me, demanded I apologize for making her husband feel bad.

I told her we all paid to be there and enjoy our meals in peace and that her husband had broken the social rules, so no, I would not apologize.

Here's where it gets weirder.

The manager came over, a heavy-set girl, alerted by the waitress. Instead of making the situation calmer and handling it like a pro, she listened to the nose-blower's side, then without asking for my side she told me that I should "hear what happens during the staff meals" if I thought that was gross and that I was rude.

Astounded, I asked her for her supervisor's name. She refused to give me any name, even her own. So you own the place, I asked? She finally gave me a first name of someone to call at a certain time and THEN she said, why aren't you paying for the meal instead of your husband's mother? It made no sense and was obviously a personal attack because she felt threatened and knew she had dropped the ball.

If she hadn't added fuel to the fire by insulting us beyond the original injury, it would have been one thing. But she was totally unprofessional. When we got home that night we sat down and drafted a letter to the owner, but finding out who to send the letter to proved impossible, the owner(s) do not want to be known or found, although I think they live in Vermont. They own two other restaurants. This had been my mother in law's fave during her frequent visits. We'll never go back.

I've worked in food service, both front and back of the house, and understand how hard it is when things get busy. But this was the most unbelievable treatment at a restaurant I've experienced.